This is usually my week to start back to being myself. You see, about the first of November I start getting sad and missing my husband Rick and for the last 6 years I've put myself into "protective mode". It's an ok place but there are no highs or lows and no tears unless forced. After Rick's birthday on February 2, Groundhog Day, I usually start to perk up. Not so 2010. I had a great day on Tuesday, had some funny things happen that only you as family members would understand; but then by Tuesday night my beautiful children were calling to see if I was okay and I still was so they told me about their blogs and facebook posts & that I should read them. I of course will right away but my home computer is not working correctly so I waited until Wednesday when I could use my work computer. Bad idea. I need to tell you about my children; they are 5 of the most creative, talented and humorous people on the planet. They are also the most loving, tender-hearted, reminiscent, memory filled group who keep me going on a daily basis. So I was excited to read all that new stuff. Even driving into work on Wednesday I was feeling great; it's a feeling I get that reminds me of going to the beach, so I was ready! Well, I read all of these beautiful thoughts and broke into tears and have been HORRIBLE since. I bite off heads, chew them up and spit them out at the drop of a syllable. I wish I had a sarcastic font; I would have used it the rest of the week.

Now here I am; its Friday and things are starting to settle down; isn't it funny how work goes on but fun has to end? I'll recover over the weekend but I'm surprised that I'm still that vulnerable. This morning I finished the Book of Mormon for the 5th time. Honestly I cannot live without reading the BOM everyday. I've tried; life is horrible without it's many messages; calls to repentence; lessons, etc. Last year I was taken with Mormon calling us "peaceable followers of Christ", this year it came late but oh so powerful; Ether chapter 12 is a talk that Moroni gives on weaknesses and faith. It has one of Kellye's favorite scriptures in it, so whenever I read it I think of her. But this time after reading I asked to have my weaknesses revealed. Which is where I was on Wed morning. Obviously I have much to learn but isn't it nice that I still can?

Life would not be what it is without all of my children in it. They are the very breath of heaven to me and I love them beyond my ability to express it. Thank you for the millions of times you've said, looked, called, thought, helped, read, sent, carried, fought, loved, prayed, explained, made me smile or laugh or any other kind of other way you've loved me. You are the best people I know and I love you too!!